Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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