I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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