You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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