Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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