margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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