Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize