A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
