I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
