he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
