Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
