I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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