I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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