I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
