Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
