Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
