so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
