After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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