Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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