Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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