Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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