what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
