We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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