we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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