yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize