This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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