I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
