i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize