She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
