Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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