I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
