Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
