GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
