there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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