was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
