The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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