im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize