Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
