I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm at about main and main street
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
