Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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