Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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