fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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