3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just pee around me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
