How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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