I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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