yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
