well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize