either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize