I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
