It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
