Do you still have your period?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
