So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
