Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
