Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
