You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
