now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
