oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
