Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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