I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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