My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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