So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize