I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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