Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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