Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
