okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
