Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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