I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
