Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
